Sweeten someone's day!

Here’s an obvious food fact to add to all the rest we get: you receive more energy from honey than you do from vinegar.

And what’s true in the physical realm is also true in the emotional and spiritual realms: people generally achieve more when their lives are sweetened by encouragement than when they are embittered by criticism.

Encouragement raises the spirits and motivates the mind, and is said to increase productivity and stimulate creativity. Criticism does the opposite.

Demoralised workers

In a recent Channel 4 Undercover Boss programme (1 July) Phil Couchman, CEO of DHL UK found many staff felt undervalued, and as a result were tempted to leave. They were under pressure to perform to (sometimes unrealistic) targets, but no-one appeared to appreciate their achievements. He vowed to remedy the situation.

Years ago the former Secretary General of the UN, Dag Hammarskjöld, told of a conscientious worker whose behaviour had an adverse effect on everyone. When things came to a head the person said, “Why did you never help me? You knew I always felt you were against me. And fear and insecurity drove me further along the course for which you now condemn me. One day, I remember, I was so happy: one of you said something that I’d produced was quite good.”

Hammarskjöld admitted, “We had allowed our criticisms to stop us from giving him a single word of acknowledgement, and in this way had barred every road to improvement.”¹ Criticism without creative support may only increase bitterness and negativity. It leaves a sour taste. It’s a sign of self-centredness, and a lack of compassion and empathy.

But that, according to a head teacher quoted in a recent survey, is how we are training the next generation to live. “We train children to be successful, ruthless, greedy and selfish; our virtues are money, fame and looks. We do not reward kindness, do not value loyalty, do not care about courage.”² That’s vinegar. Here’s some honey.

Encouraged ministers

John Coleridge Paterson went as a missionary to Melanesia in the 19^th century. He planted churches and trained local people to be pastors and evangelists, becoming the first bishop of the area. He was killed when he was mistaken for a slave trader, or in revenge for slave trading. But the church continued, because his ministry of encouragement had prepared and equipped others to serve God.  

Maybe he took as his example the apostle Barnabas. His name means “son of encouragement” and he lived up to it. He was the first person to trust Saul of Tarsus after the future apostle’s dramatic conversion on the Damascus road. Barnabas took the renamed Paul under his wing and helped him to grow in his new faith (Acts 9:26-27; 11:25-26). We wouldn’t have Paul’s teaching today if it hadn’t been for Barnabas’s patient mentoring.

Barnabas also turned John Mark from a failure to a success. Mark was the young man who fled from the Garden of gethsemane when Jesus was arrested (Mark 14:51-52) – not an auspicious start. Later he joined Paul and Barnabas on a mission trip, but this proved too much for him as well and he went home (Acts 12:25, 13:13).

When Paul and Barnabas were setting out again, Barnabas wanted Mark to tag along. But Paul refused, and they split. Paul took Silas, and Barnabas went with Mark (Acts 15:36-41). We next hear of Mark near the end of Paul’s life, who tells Timothy, “Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is helpful to me in my ministry” (2 Timothy 4:11).

 

We don’t know what had happened in those intervening years. But clearly Barnabas’s patient encouragement turned Mark into a talented Christian who had something to offer Paul.

Spoon out the honey

So be generous with the honey and sparing with the vinegar! A few words of encouragement, a helping hand, some gentle guidance can do more than just sweeten someone’s day. It might have longer-term benefits too. In an age of austerity, the last thing we should be cutting is encouragement. It’s a source of growth and effectiveness.

Think and talk

1.  Read the story of Barnabas (references above) and try to imagine (or discuss) the scenarios. What sort of tensions would have been evident? What might other people have thought about him at the time, and how might he have coped with that?

2.  What practical advice about encouragement can you find in Isaiah 35:3-4; Romans 15:2; 1 Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 3:13, 10:25?

3.  What unchanging truths can we fall back on when we feel discouraged? See 2 Chronicles 32:6-7; 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17.

4.  Everywhere, there is pressure to perform, targets to reach. How can we help to inject some humanity and reasonableness into a world where people are often expected to behave like machines?   

References

1. Dag Hammarskjöld, Markings, Faber & Faber 1964, p.47
2. Quoted in the Sunday Times, 9 June 2013.

© Derek Williams 2013