Who dares to kiss the frog? A call for peaceful transformation

When the princess kissed the frog it turned into a prince

I grew up by the seaside and every summer the Punch and Judy cabin would appear on the beach and enthral groups of children with outlandish puppet action. Punch and Judy has all but disappeared now not least because we rightly consider wife-beating to be an inappropriate topic for children’s – indeed also adults’ – entertainment.

Unfortunately, the legacy of Mr Punch has lived on in political debate and social media. The referendum campaign was for many people a new low point in national life – marked by sometimes vicious and hysterical accusations, claims and counter-claims many of which were by the very nature of the issue speculative and thus subject to exaggeration and over-simplification. Many people have voiced their concern at the depths to which the tone of the debate sank.

The brutal murder of MP Jo Cox for her views – and the subsequent reminder that numerous MPs have received threats of various kinds – was an additional grim reminder that we are becoming a less patient and more polarised society. Slogan shouting and direct action has replaced considerate and balanced discussion. The outpouring of sympathy for Jo Cox’s husband Brendan and their children was touching; dare one hope that it might be more than a temporary reaction and lead instead to a popular rebuttal of Punch and Judy politics – which Jo was herself opposed to?

Now though we are faced with living in a divided nation – 51.9% in favour of leaving the EU is hardly a substantial majority – and for a short while at least divided political parties and a leaderless government. There will be plenty of scope for bitter recriminations, for poisonous arrows of blame and triumphalist darts of “told you so” to be fired across the divide in both directions. Probably there will be years of wrangling internally and internationally, with more bitter exchanges, as the consequences are worked out by MPs and civil servants. Scotland, Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic face additional and potentially divisive dilemmas.

Five years ago former MP, now columnist and broadcaster, Matthew Parris, wrote a piece in The Times under the heading “Bring down the curtain on Punch and Judy”. In it he claimed that members of the public don’t like party games and brawling in politics. He listed some key words for political debate: “dignified; courteous; grave; generous in argument; calm; quiet; undeclamatory.”¹ Writing just before the referendum however he admitted that “insult and abuse is part of the culture of politics” but also warned that it is easy to rise to the bait and “overstep the mark, go sour”². Nothing has changed. Yet.

Could it? Back to childhood: there’s a fairy story about a princess who kissed a frog. She did not turn into a frog as a result. Instead the frog turned into a prince. The moral is that care, acceptance, gentleness and love can have positive transforming effects. That, too, is the message of faith and the Bible.

The call to peace

Speaking at the Coventry Cathedral “Faith in conflict” conference in 2013, Archbishop Justin Welby said that “reconciliation is recognition of diversity and a transformation of destructive conflict to creativity.… Grace filled reconciliation begins with hospitality.”³

In 1976, the Queen said in her Christmas message, “The gift I would most value next year is that reconciliation should be found wherever it is needed. A reconciliation which would bring peace and security to families and neighbours at present suffering and torn apart. Remember that good spreads outwards and every little does help. Mighty things from small beginnings grow as indeed they grew from the small child of Bethlehem.”

The road to rebuilding trust and co-operation in society begins with each person rebuilding trust and co-operation with their acquaintances. The road to conciliatory and thoughtful debate, to replace the strident posturing that shouts at people without ever truly engaging with them, begins with individuals listening carefully to each other and demanding that their elected representatives do the same. The road to a more unified society begins when we reject the partisan headlines of a campaigning media and demand instead a balanced coverage of the facts from both sides of any given argument.

Why not? “We need an immunization program, one that injects people with respect, dignity, and quality, one that inoculates them against hatred,” wrote Palestinian surgeon Izzeldin Abuelaish from Gaza. “Peace is respect.” Despite having worked happily alongside Israeli doctors in Israel, his Gazan house was targeted by Israeli troops and two of his daughters and a niece were killed. “I vowed not to hate and avoided rage because of my strong faith as a Muslim,” he wrote.⁴ If he could do that without the benefit of the New Testament ethic, then banishing Punch and Judy battering in politics and religion in the so-called Christian west should be a piece of cake. Here’s some ways we can kiss the frog and transform our conversation.

Biblical steps

1.  Think about the common good before you consider self-interest: Romans 12:10; Philippians 2:3-4.

2.  Recognise your own imperfection and that of everyone else, and thus become more understanding of people and more aware that our views are always at best partial: Matthew 7:1-5
3.  Banish bitterness and embrace compassion: Ephesians 4:31-32
4.  Rediscover the power of love by seeking to welcome and do good to people who we have regarded as enemies: Matthew 5:38-48
5.  Be gracious: Colossians 4:5-6
6.  Pray for peace: 1 Timothy 2:1-4

Think and talk

1.  Look at Matthew Parris’s list of words above. How might they become part of our daily conversation? (“Dignified; courteous; grave; generous in argument; calm; quiet; undeclamatory.”)

2. Use Coventry cathedral’s Litany of reconciliation:
All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
The hatred which divides nation from nation, race from race, class from class, Father, forgive.
The covetous desires of men and nations to possess what is not their own, Father forgive.
The greed which exploits the labours of men, and lays waste the earth, Father forgive.
Our envy of the welfare and happiness of others, Father forgive.
Our indifference to the plight of the homeless and the refugee, Father forgive
The lust which uses for ignoble ends the bodies of men and women, Father forgive.
The pride which leads to trust in ourselves and not in God, Father forgive.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

References

1.  The Times, 17 September 2011

2.  The Times, 18 June 2016
3.  Address given 28 February 2013; www.coventrycathedral.org.uk
4.  Izzeldin Abuelaish, I shall not hate, Bloomsbury 2012, pp. 196f, 232, 227.

Future blogs will deal further with the way we converse. There is also extended material on this in my next book THE JUDAS TRAP – WHY PEOPLE MESS UP which is to be published by Instant Apostle on 21 October 2016.

Mandela's Christmas wisdom on human relations

"Coexistence": poster for a peace exhibition I saw 
in Belfast some years ago

Whatever else he was and whatever else he did, the late Nelson Mandela proved to be a master of reconciliation. As the commemorations of his life now fade from the news agenda, it’s still appropriate to reflect on some of his words as we enter the Christmas season of peace and goodwill. Mandela offered peace and goodwill towards people who had opposed and imprisoned him.

In his autobiography Long walk to freedom¹ he writes of things he learned as a child. “I learned that to humiliate another person is to make him suffer an unnecessarily cruel fate,” he wrote. “Even as a boy I defeated my opponents without dishonouring them” (p10). Another lesson was gleaned from tribal meetings, where everyone had a say. “I have always endeavoured to listen to what each and every person in a discussion had to say before venturing my own opinion” (p21).

Those principles – honour your enemy and listen to those you disagree with – were the foundation of his much later work as the first black President of South Africa. So, with good cause, perhaps, to want to wreak revenge on others, he emerged from prison knowing that his freedom did not give him the liberty to take others’ freedom away from them, and that “the man who takes away another’s freedom is a prisoner of hatred, he is locked behind the bars of prejudice and narrow-mindedness” (p617).

“In prison, my hatred towards whites decreased, while my hatred for the system grew. I wanted South Africa to see that I loved my enemies even while I hated the system that turned us against each other” (p559). And writing of the then President De Klerk, who he had previously criticised heavily, “I never sought to undermine Mr De Klerk…To make peace with an enemy, one must work with that enemy, and that enemy becomes your partner” (p604).

Nelson Mandela has given us a lot to think about as we reflect on our relationships with and attitudes towards others. But he was doing no more than applying in practice what Jesus had taught almost 2000 years before.

In the sermon on the mount Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbour and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes the sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:43-48).

That teaching is echoed by the apostles. “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse….Do not repay anyone evil for evil….As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay'….Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good’’ (Romans 12:14-21).

But there’s an even greater reason to take the example of Mandela and the exhortations of Jesus and Paul seriously. It is that reconciliation is what God himself is all about, which is also at the heart of the Christmas message. Paul writes, “God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them.” And, he adds, he “gave us the ministry of reconciliation” (2 Corinthians 5:18-21).

The Christmas image of the baby in the manger can sometimes obscure the fact that the Christ child came into the world with a mission to bridge the moral gap between erring humans and a perfect God. Perhaps Mandela’s death just before Christmas could be seen as God’s gentle reminder to a conflict-ridden world that the event we celebrate contains a call to adopt a peace-making lifestyle all year round.

 

Think and talk

1.  Look up the full Bible passages from which the passages above are quoted. Make a list of all the implications they have for the daily life and relationships of ordinary people.
2.  Think of situations where you either need to seek reconciliation with others or where you can seek to act as a peacemaker (Matthew 5:9). Make these situations a matter for prayer, and then look for opportunities to exercise a ministry of reconciliation.

Reference

1.  Nelson Mandela, Long walk to Freedom, Little, Brown and Company, 1994

 

 

Should we intervene in conflicts?

Russian guards in Moscow's Red Square

When someone is in trouble we’re faced with a dilemma: do we step in (and if so, how?) or refuse to get involved? The dilemma becomes harder when one party is powerful or violent, or when it’s clearly a case of “six of one and half a dozen of the other”. Western nations have a history of intervention in other countries’ conflicts, with mixed results. Civil war in Syria is currently raising the question at an international level.

Christians are often divided over such action. The New Testament is set in a conflict-ridden society and focuses mostly on personal conduct and church discipline. But it does suggest principles which have implications for wider situations, with a common thread: prevention.

Prevention of conflict

The New Testament knows nothing of the blame culture; it focuses on “us” not “them”. So we’re to “love our neighbour as ourselves” (Mark 12:31). Violence stems from self-centred desires for something (from a product to promotion) or to control people, property or resources (James 4:1-2). The first step in preventing violence is to eliminate selfishness from ourselves.

Peacemaking

Then we may be able to prevent a conflict escalating. We can “turn the other cheek” which implies forgiveness (Matthew 5:38-42) and “love our enemies” by doing good to them (Luke 6:27-33), neither repaying evil with evil nor taking revenge (Romans 12:17-19). If we do seek justice, it’s to be proportionate not punitive (only “an eye for an eye”, Exodus 21:24).

Jesus, Paul and James encouraged active peace-making (Matthew 5:9; Romans 14:19; James 3:18). When people fall out, Jesus says go and talk, if necessary with mediators (Matthew 5:23,24; 18:15-17). There’s a theological basis to this; “reconciliation” is at the heart of the Christian message (2 Corinthians 5:18-21). Having been reconciled to God, Christians are to be reconciling people.

This always demands patience and usually requires privacy. When former Finnish President Martti Ahitisaari was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 2008, hardly anyone knew that for 30 years he had brokered peace in numerous places including Namibia, Aceh, and Kosovo. The watching world demands progress reports but warring parties need to find face-saving solutions away from public glare. So do private individuals locked in conflict.

Victim support

While the process of conciliation is going on, people may be suffering. Throughout the Bible God shows himself sensitive to the cries of oppressed and vulnerable people, from the Israelite slaves in Egypt (Exodus 3:7) to the common people exploited by rich landowners in the 8^th century BC (Amos 5:7-24). Jesus commended the Good Samaritan who assisted a stricken Jew (Luke 10:25-37), and told of the positive spiritual effects of social service (Matthew 25:31-46). We can offer practical help through charities, and church leaders can raise public awareness and encourage political action through statements and letters.

Enforcement

Finally, there may come a time when further conflict can only be prevented by physical intervention. The New Testament recognises the authority of legitimate government to take decisive action against wrong doers (Romans 13:1-7). The “just war theory” gives Christians a yardstick to assess possible action. It requires that intervention should be a last resort; in defence of aggression; for limited ends; to restore peace; be proportional; and respectful of non-combatants.

However, there’s also a caveat. Why are we intervening in this situation and not that one? There are numerous conflicts at present, often unreported but all causing suffering: Sudan, Kenya, Mali, Congo, Somalia, Yemen, among others. We come back to the personal question: what really motivates my (or my country’s) actions? Discuss!

Think and talk

1.  Re-read the text and look up the Bible references. To what extent might your previous views need to be modified by them?

2.  You don’t love your enemy by killing him or exacting revenge. Loving enemies is counter-intuitive, but a mark of the radical new ethic of God’s Kingdom. Think of practical ways to apply this in personal and corporate conflict situations, real and imagined.

3.  Find out about organisations involved in conciliation. Try these to begin with: Fellowship of reconciliation, http://www.for.org.uk/; Concordis International, http://concordis-international.org/; Bridge Builders, http://www.bbministries.org.uk/. Aid charities such as World Vision (http://www.worldvision.org.uk/what-we-do/) and Christian Aid (http://www.christianaid.org.uk/whatwedo/) include advocacy as part of their work to relieve suffering.

© Derek Williams 2013