Who dares to kiss the frog? A call for peaceful transformation

When the princess kissed the frog it turned into a prince

I grew up by the seaside and every summer the Punch and Judy cabin would appear on the beach and enthral groups of children with outlandish puppet action. Punch and Judy has all but disappeared now not least because we rightly consider wife-beating to be an inappropriate topic for children’s – indeed also adults’ – entertainment.

Unfortunately, the legacy of Mr Punch has lived on in political debate and social media. The referendum campaign was for many people a new low point in national life – marked by sometimes vicious and hysterical accusations, claims and counter-claims many of which were by the very nature of the issue speculative and thus subject to exaggeration and over-simplification. Many people have voiced their concern at the depths to which the tone of the debate sank.

The brutal murder of MP Jo Cox for her views – and the subsequent reminder that numerous MPs have received threats of various kinds – was an additional grim reminder that we are becoming a less patient and more polarised society. Slogan shouting and direct action has replaced considerate and balanced discussion. The outpouring of sympathy for Jo Cox’s husband Brendan and their children was touching; dare one hope that it might be more than a temporary reaction and lead instead to a popular rebuttal of Punch and Judy politics – which Jo was herself opposed to?

Now though we are faced with living in a divided nation – 51.9% in favour of leaving the EU is hardly a substantial majority – and for a short while at least divided political parties and a leaderless government. There will be plenty of scope for bitter recriminations, for poisonous arrows of blame and triumphalist darts of “told you so” to be fired across the divide in both directions. Probably there will be years of wrangling internally and internationally, with more bitter exchanges, as the consequences are worked out by MPs and civil servants. Scotland, Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic face additional and potentially divisive dilemmas.

Five years ago former MP, now columnist and broadcaster, Matthew Parris, wrote a piece in The Times under the heading “Bring down the curtain on Punch and Judy”. In it he claimed that members of the public don’t like party games and brawling in politics. He listed some key words for political debate: “dignified; courteous; grave; generous in argument; calm; quiet; undeclamatory.”¹ Writing just before the referendum however he admitted that “insult and abuse is part of the culture of politics” but also warned that it is easy to rise to the bait and “overstep the mark, go sour”². Nothing has changed. Yet.

Could it? Back to childhood: there’s a fairy story about a princess who kissed a frog. She did not turn into a frog as a result. Instead the frog turned into a prince. The moral is that care, acceptance, gentleness and love can have positive transforming effects. That, too, is the message of faith and the Bible.

The call to peace

Speaking at the Coventry Cathedral “Faith in conflict” conference in 2013, Archbishop Justin Welby said that “reconciliation is recognition of diversity and a transformation of destructive conflict to creativity.… Grace filled reconciliation begins with hospitality.”³

In 1976, the Queen said in her Christmas message, “The gift I would most value next year is that reconciliation should be found wherever it is needed. A reconciliation which would bring peace and security to families and neighbours at present suffering and torn apart. Remember that good spreads outwards and every little does help. Mighty things from small beginnings grow as indeed they grew from the small child of Bethlehem.”

The road to rebuilding trust and co-operation in society begins with each person rebuilding trust and co-operation with their acquaintances. The road to conciliatory and thoughtful debate, to replace the strident posturing that shouts at people without ever truly engaging with them, begins with individuals listening carefully to each other and demanding that their elected representatives do the same. The road to a more unified society begins when we reject the partisan headlines of a campaigning media and demand instead a balanced coverage of the facts from both sides of any given argument.

Why not? “We need an immunization program, one that injects people with respect, dignity, and quality, one that inoculates them against hatred,” wrote Palestinian surgeon Izzeldin Abuelaish from Gaza. “Peace is respect.” Despite having worked happily alongside Israeli doctors in Israel, his Gazan house was targeted by Israeli troops and two of his daughters and a niece were killed. “I vowed not to hate and avoided rage because of my strong faith as a Muslim,” he wrote.⁴ If he could do that without the benefit of the New Testament ethic, then banishing Punch and Judy battering in politics and religion in the so-called Christian west should be a piece of cake. Here’s some ways we can kiss the frog and transform our conversation.

Biblical steps

1.  Think about the common good before you consider self-interest: Romans 12:10; Philippians 2:3-4.

2.  Recognise your own imperfection and that of everyone else, and thus become more understanding of people and more aware that our views are always at best partial: Matthew 7:1-5
3.  Banish bitterness and embrace compassion: Ephesians 4:31-32
4.  Rediscover the power of love by seeking to welcome and do good to people who we have regarded as enemies: Matthew 5:38-48
5.  Be gracious: Colossians 4:5-6
6.  Pray for peace: 1 Timothy 2:1-4

Think and talk

1.  Look at Matthew Parris’s list of words above. How might they become part of our daily conversation? (“Dignified; courteous; grave; generous in argument; calm; quiet; undeclamatory.”)

2. Use Coventry cathedral’s Litany of reconciliation:
All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.
The hatred which divides nation from nation, race from race, class from class, Father, forgive.
The covetous desires of men and nations to possess what is not their own, Father forgive.
The greed which exploits the labours of men, and lays waste the earth, Father forgive.
Our envy of the welfare and happiness of others, Father forgive.
Our indifference to the plight of the homeless and the refugee, Father forgive
The lust which uses for ignoble ends the bodies of men and women, Father forgive.
The pride which leads to trust in ourselves and not in God, Father forgive.
Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

References

1.  The Times, 17 September 2011

2.  The Times, 18 June 2016
3.  Address given 28 February 2013; www.coventrycathedral.org.uk
4.  Izzeldin Abuelaish, I shall not hate, Bloomsbury 2012, pp. 196f, 232, 227.

Future blogs will deal further with the way we converse. There is also extended material on this in my next book THE JUDAS TRAP – WHY PEOPLE MESS UP which is to be published by Instant Apostle on 21 October 2016.