Tolerance is not a dirty word (nor is it the best word)

A contrast: a tree speaks of patience;
a bowman of intolerance

Tolerance has been in short supply this year. There are signs that intolerance – towards specific people -groups and ideas – will continue for some time to come. The toxic campaigns leading up to the EU referendum and the US presidential election were marked by ruthless intolerance and intemperance, and characterised by wild and exaggerated claims that had only a shallow foundation in truth, if that.

Yet tolerance is a virtue prized by the liberal majority. Not long ago tolerance was the working philosophy of all but a few people holding extremist views, used to mean “live and let live”, “each to their own”. Now quiet acceptance of other people has been overtaken by the noise of protest and clamour.

“Tolerance” has become a dirty word. In the social and political spheres, it suggests “going soft” on border controls, employment prospects and crime. In some Christian circles, it smacks of compromise in matters of faith and conduct, the thin end of a wedge which, it is claimed, will lead eventually to “anything goes”.

In fact, you won’t find the word in most English translations of the Bible. It was used once in the original edition of the NIV, in Romans 2:4, where Paul writes of God’s “kindness, tolerance, and patience” (all different words in the original Greek). In later editions this was changed to “kindness, forbearance, and patience”.

It was probably a wise alteration; “tolerance” is such a loaded word that it may be taken to mean indifference and it misses Paul’s more restricted and nuanced meaning. It’s a good example of how difficult it is for translators to reflect subtle usages of words in one language which don’t have a simple equivalent in another.

The word in Romans 2:4 (chrēstos) can mean goodness, uprightness, excellence, and kindness depending on the context. In its few New Testament occurrences it is generally translated “kindness” although this hardly does justice to it.

Only on one other occasion in the NIV is it translated “forbearance”. Significantly it replaces “patience” in the list of the Spirit’s fruits in Galatians 5:22 where it’s reinforced by, and distinguished from, related words: “love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”

The 19th century commentator Archbishop Trench called chrēstos “a beautiful word for the expression of a beautiful grace”. It was a favourite word for God’s patient kindness used by the translators of the Septuagint (the Greek translation of the Hebrew Old Testament).

Forbearance is not a common word today but it does capture precisely what Paul was trying to express. It means “restraint”, “holding back”. It’s more specific than our general use of “tolerance” and stronger than our normal understanding of kindness (which is being considerate and pleasant) and even of patience (keeping calm under pressure).

In the Romans context, Paul is saying that God holds back from driving forward his judgement on an errant world. It will come, but not yet. The idea lies behind some of the other occurrences of the word or its derivatives where the English is rendered “kindness”. Its use in Galatians suggests that Christians are to be restrained (not repressed!) people, slow to anger and slow to speak as James 1:19 urges.

But there’s more. In Luke 5:39 the word is used of mellow, mature wine; from that we can think of a forbearing person as unhurried and wise in judgement and action. In Matthew 11:30 it’s used of a well-fitting yoke, so a person exhibiting forbearance is comfortable in their own skin, willing to submit to the constraints of discipleship rather than leaping on high horses every time they or their views are offended.

And so God calls us to hold back from driving forward our agendas which might seem right and good, yet which may result in pain to others. The time will come for action, but it may not be yet. That is “tolerance”; not overlooking wrong but holding back on immediate reactions, patiently looking, working and hoping for a change of heart.

Similarly, it means restraining our language about and reactions to situations and people who we dislike or disapprove of. Our problem is that whatever we want, we want it now. The world moves faster than committees. The needs are too great to dawdle over and must be met now. Our voice must be heard and that requires us (we think, wrongly) to shout louder and more caustically than our opponents.

The media and the markets never sleep. We’re caught up in the infernal rush, and drive on. Or get angry when we can’t, and are liable to lash out. But fools rush in where angels fear to tread.

Like the world, God never sleeps. Unlike the world, God never rushes. He forbears. He reserves judgement. He acts when it’s appropriate, which isn’t always when we think he should. It’s one reason why Jesus didn’t charge to the rescue as soon as Adam and Eve disgraced themselves and were thrown out of the garden.

It’s why God seems in no hurry to bring the world to an end despite the evil and destruction that desecrates it. God is waiting and seeing; so should we be. (And his restraint has no time limit, no rule about three strikes and you’re out. Forgive your brother 77 times, meaning without limit, Jesus said in Matthew 18:22.)

Think Abraham: he waited decades for his promised son, who didn’t arrive until the old man got his centenary birthday card. Or Moses: called as an energetic young man to be a leader of the captive Israelites, who failed to forbear and snatched at an apparent opportunity, and then was banished abroad to become a rural farmer for 40 years where he learned what true restraint, forbearance, really meant.

Or Paul: a driven man if ever there was one, called to be an apostle yet learning forbearance by patiently working as a tentmaker and part time minister in Turkey for 14 years before the time was right to start his church-planting travels.

And then think Judas Iscariot. He too was a driven man but he never learned forbearance. His disclosure of Jesus’ whereabouts to the authorities was probably the climax of a perfect storm of conflicting desires in his mind. Convinced of his own rectitude, perhaps wanting to impress and achieve, his plan became an obsession with its doubly fatal consequences.

Judas couldn’t (or wouldn’t) wait. Human beings are brilliant at self-deception. We know what we want to do. We find evidence to support it. We treat counter-evidence sceptically, and dismiss it readily. “Praying about it” is not enough; often we don’t really want to hear the whispered “no” or “wait”, so take the silence as a shouted “yes”. That’s when we mess up, big time. God’s ways aren’t always our ways.

Forbearance requires that we step back from desires and decisions sufficiently to allow God, over time and through other people, to transform personal obsessions into corporate, practical wisdom. The same applies to our reactions to other people’s misdemeanours. Our judgements are partial – we rarely understand why they act as they do. We can’t get inside their heads. Harsh and hasty reactions do not serve God’s purposes. They may add to people’s suffering.

Forbearance is imitating God and the practising caring love. It exercises restraint in word and action. It listens carefully to people, takes on board criticism, considers how to accommodate objectors, is willing to modify plans, and waits patiently for God’s time to act.

It’s not compromise, nor is it inaction and it doesn’t prevent progress and change. Rather it ensures that we keep in step with the God who is forbearing towards the weaknesses and errors of fallen people. Including our own, and whose plans span centuries, not just our lifetimes. Then we’ll be ready to speak and act in a world that is crying out for alternative, better, ways of living.

Think and talk

1.  What do these passages, all using the same Greek word mentioned above, say about God’s forbearance? Luke 6:35; Romans 11:22; Ephesians 2:7; Titus 3:4.

2.  Similarly, what do these passages say about the forbearance which is required of us? 2 Corinthians 6:6; Galatians 5:22; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:12.

3.  What situations can you think of today, in your own situation and in the wider world, where forbearance is required?

Derek Williams latest book The Judas Trap – why people mess up (and how to avoid joining them) is published by Instant Apostle, ISBN 978-1-909728-54-7, RRP £8.99, and is available from Christian bookshops or online.